Ron Paul – King Bullshit

Ron Paul: King Bullshit.

So I read in the paper that ‘ol Ron Paul’s got this five million dollars left over, and he’s blowing it on plane tickets, helping out global warming on his ego tour so he can run his mouth about how everyone should be free and be free to help themselves and the world with personal responsibility. He ain’t got a chance in hell to get anywhere, except go back to his job in congress and draw that $150,000 a year he makes or something like that. Maybe that’s tax money he’s using to fly around the country? Ever think of that? Is that personal responsibility?

The problem is that people just ain’t that much into personal responsibility. See all those punk ass kids lined up to shake his hand? Ask how many of them would stop and help an old lady with a flat tire? Huh? How many of them would try and stop some hobo from getting kicked to death downtown some night? Give some food to the food bank? Or even use their damn brains long enough to think before they run their mouths?

Listen to this, right from the paper: “I think he’ll restore American government to the way it’s supposed to be,” this kid said. “He’s for guns, the Constitution, all the things Montanans like.”

Now, what the hell does that mean? American Government the way it’s supposed to be. Who gets to decide how the government’s supposed to be? This kid, who cant even talk a line, who only spews bullshit that they told him to say, wants to decide how government is supposed to be. Government gets the way it’s supposed to be by people voting and by people talking and working out ideas and this and that. Government doesn’t get the way it’s supposed to be by one guy deciding it’s gong to be that way. That is, unless we’re the Nazi’s again. Hey, Ron. What do you think about the Nazi’s? You want everyone to buy into your bullshit and get rid of everything in the government so things run your way?

First of all, the kid says guns. Guns? What does he know about guns? He’s 22, a punk ass kid. He’s been out plinking gophers or some bunch of critters that he was told are varmints. So he knows how to shoot. Maybe. Carries his plinker in the window of his truck to show he’s a bad ass. Maybe we should sign him up for boot camp and then we’ll see what he thinks about guns. Well, maybe he’ll like all the big guns he gets to play with. Well, then, send him to war, a war that some politician dreams up. Then he’ll have to shoot people, and then we’ll find out what kind of punk ass kid he is. He won’t have the guts. So he thinks everybody needs a gun to protect themselves. Hell, you need that gun to protect yourself from Ron Paul’s revolution, the one that wants to take over your brain and turn you into a zombie like in some movie.

And then the punk ass kid says The Constitution. Hey, kid – ever read the Constitution? I don’t think you could. It ain’t written in the kind of English you seem to know. Tell me what the Bill of RIghts is. Hell, tell me the difference between the Constitution and the Bill of Rights. Tell me where the right to bear arms comes from. And you better be reading the paper, cause they’re trying to figure it out right now in DC with the Supreme Courts. Never hears of that? You better git reading. Educate yourself. You’re supposed to be in college, right?

The problem is that the Constitution is the last refuge of scoundrels. I mean that because it is open to interpretation. Big word for you, kid? Huh? That means its general as hell. People real all kinds of stuff into it. Mostly, they read their own bullshit into it, and think it means what they want it to mean.

And the last thing the punk ass kid says is that those are all things Montanans like. Well, yea, but we all get to think about it ourselves. What guns mean and what the Constitution means, that is, if we can read it. Does Ron Paul think we should get rid of all the schools? He needs people to read to listen to his bullshit. Well, enough of about punk ass kids who love Ron Paul.

Hey, Ron, listen to yourself talk for once and take the five million dollars and do something responsible for it. I don’t think you want people to think you’re like Ralph Nader and have millions of bucks in the bank from selling your books.

Some old guy said he bought books for his five year old kid. Well, that’s freedom for you. If you can’t keep yourself from trying to brainwash your own little kid, you’re worthless. If you really were into freedom and personal responsibility, you’d talk with your kid when he’s older about politics and about how they’re all bullshitters. Get your kid something that he can read now, so at least he can practice and be able to read when he’s old enough to think for himself. I feel sorry for your kid.

Ron Paul. King Bullshit. Leading all these kids along like a pied piper. Give me more money, buy my books so I can keep traveling around stoking my ego.

Till next time, suckers

Who cares about Moo-town Missoula Politics?

Why do people in Moo-town Missoula get so hopped up over politics? You’d think that there has never been an election around this town. That’s all there was in the paper this week, about the candidates who came to town. Hardly anything else except for big pictures on the front page. My buddy back east of the mountains called and I told him all about it, and he said it was the same back there. Damn Politics.

I’m so sick of politics. Don’t people get sick of the bullshit? Maybe they don’t think it’s bullshit. Maybe they’re already got stupid from all the speeches and flashy TV and they forgot that politicians are just people. Politicians are worse; they’re all hat and no cattle.

I mean, what politician ain’t never lied up on the stage or on TV? All these Moo-town bloggers think politicians are the best thing since sliced bread. And these bloggers think they’re somehow part of the whole presidential race by whining on and on about how great the candidates are and are just abot to run for president themselves. We’d all like to see that. All of Moo-town running for president.

“If you ever injected truth into politics you have no politics.“

Who said that? Will Rogers. The Cowboy Philosopher. God Rest His Soul. He made movies, to, and wrote for what they say is thousands of newspapers. I got a book of Will Rogers, and I am going to quote liberally, because he can say things so much better than me.

Like this:

“Anything important is never left to the vote of the people. We only get to vote on some man; we never get to vote on what he is to do.”

Damn right.

Hell, the whole front page of the newspaper all week was photos of Obama or Hillary and how all these national TV and newspaper people were out here keeping up with it all. I don’t care if they say Montana matters now in the presidential race; all it might mean is more people moving here. We don’t need that. I mean Jesus Christ Porking Mother Teresa In The Middle Of The Dirt Road we don’t need more people moving here.

And the money. Billions of dollars going to these fools so they can run their mouths about how there going to save the country and save our souls. Billions of dollars for those planes and secret service agents and all that. Where are the Moo-towners whining about global warming when it comes to these fools flying all over the world running their mouths?

Old Will Rogers again:

“Be thankful we’re not getting all the government we’re paying for.”

All these people think Obama (now, I didn’t say Osama, did I? You were expecting me to say that, right? I may be cranky but I ain’t usually mean, unless someone really deserves it) is going to be different. But he ain’t. He’s a good talker (or he’s got a good speech writer), but he’s just a kid. If he wins, he’ll have to put lots of people that have more experience than he does in his group around him. If he ain’t got that much experience to begin with, what kind of people is he going to get? Think he has enough sense to pick good people?

Look at ol’ W. What the hell was he? He was a piss poor oil man from Texas, and if you’re an oil man in Texas and you can’t make money at it. go home. So he’s got zilch experience and so he gets railroaded by all these people he hires to work for him.

Now Hillary. What can we say? She’s got more experience, but she comes across as an old school marm. And old Slick Willy; what the hell will he do if he’s back in the white house? Get more blow jobs on government time?

And McCain. He’s a war hero, and that gets respect from me. But he’s so damn old and he just wants to get more guns out. He got wacky while the Gooks had ahold of him.

And then all these bloggers are writing all about this shit. How loud do I have to shout it? They’re all the same. Same Bullshit Different Day. But all these hipsters and peace freaks think that peace love and understanding is on the way. All they have to do is vote. Well, what can I say. if you’re that dumb well, I hope at least you got enough common sense to know the difference between your ass and a hole in the ground. And even before that, got enough sense to feed yourself when you get hungry.

Old Will Rogers again:

“The more you read and observe about this Politics thing, you got to admit that each party is worse than the other. The one that’s out always looks the best.”

How about another song, since you young people like music so much? Ever hear that song that goes “we won’t be fooled again?” It’s god awful rock and roll, with some guy caterwauling over the noise, but he sings “meet the new boss, same as the old boss.” Now there’s politics for you.

You’ve all been fooled. People are still dying on the streets of Moo-town while you walk by on your way to write more political gibberish on your blog or walk up the hill to paint another white rock on that hippie peace sign we all have to look at now since you think peace love and understanding will save the world.

We ain’t nothin but stupid humans, and politician are the worst. Politics: pounding sand down a rat hole, caterwauling about whose the best and who is going to win. Go do something worthwhile instead. Take your dog for a walk. Go listen to the meadowlarks – they’re back in town for the spring.

Will Rogers:

“I don’t make jokes. I just watch the government and report the facts.”

Till next week, suckers…

Stand By Your Man; or, I’m famous now

Well, I’m a little early this week, but for a good reason. I’m feeling good since there’s some sun out there today. Feels like spring, and there’s even little flowers coming up in the hills. Calving must be almost done back east.

Well, I finally got famous. My dear old mom (god rest her soul) always said I’d be known for something, and I always figured she got those words out of a country song and never took it to heart, but now I’m a little bit famous. So I guess we all get a little attention now and then. Most people, the only attention they get is an obituary, and that’s sad. There’s lots of good men out there that died without being known to all. And quite a few womens, too.

All the sudden the hits on my blog (how that’s for being hip? I’m learning the lingo from this computer geek type I met at the UM) went through the roof last weekend, and we traced them down – or rather my blog had it right there if I looked in the right place – to someone named Patia Stephens.

Now, before we get much further I have to figure out how she says her name. That guy Geoff I was talking about. If you’ve been given a name like Jeff when you come into the world, why butcher it to something like Geoff? First time I saw that I figured maybe they say it “Gee” like gee-whiz, and then “off,” like turning off a light. Gee-off. Sounds like a good name for a mule. No, a name like that would insult a mule.

So is it “Patty – Ah”? Or is it “Pat – TEA – ah”? Or maybe it’s “Pay-sha”, like I got no more patience for this?

Anywho, you did me a big favor. I’m now a number one google hit. I have to thank you for that. I gave you what they call a blog roll, back at you. You can blog roll me if you like. I don’t care if you call me a creep. If you got to know me, why, I think you’d think different.

Girl, chill, as they say on the street around here. You take yourself way too seriously. You really think all these people want to hear you whine about how you been had a cold? Buck up, babe. It ain’t that bad. You should get out more. Go see a movie with your hubby.

I don’t take myself as serious as you. If I get sick, I just sweat her out. After the war I was sicker than hell in various foreign countries and just had to sweat it out.

I’m all over the map? Well, I am. I’m a complicated person. I read lots. I write lots. I’ve got an opinion like anyone can. I ain’t one dimensionable like some people I know. I like to think about all the things that I think ain’t right in the world.

You must be one of them women with about 20 bumper stickers on your car. All kinds of things like peace, love and justice and organic. I can tell an opiionated women when I see one. You seem to be opinionated, and I don’t have a problem with that, but you better get your opinions out there or they’ll stop you up and give you a tummy ache. Write something good instead of whining about being sick.

I saw a bumper sticker yesterday that really made me mad. All it had was a picture of a hand with the middle finger up, and then next to it was a big “U”. Now, why would some punk put a sticker like that on their car? They angry at the world or something? No use get angry at the world. It don’t owe you a thing. If you have to drive around and tell everybody how angry you are, well, stay home. Get over it. I hope you don’t ave a bumbersticker like that on your car.

So, anyway. Patia. You listening? Stand by your man, as they say.

Ever hear that song Stand by Your Man? Tammy Wynette. (God rest her soul – she passed 10 years ago the 6th of this month) It goes like this, and it was a number one country hit, too, in 1968, right during the war. if you stand by your man, he will stand by you, too.

Stand By Your Man

Sometimes its hard to be a woman
Giving all your love to just one man
You’ll have bad times
And he’ll have good times
Doing things that you don’t understand

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

But if you love him you’ll forgive him
Even though he’s hard to understand
And if you love him
Oh be proud of him
Cause after all he’s just a man

Stand by your man
Give him two arms to cling to
And something warm to come to
When nights are cold and lonely
Stand by your man
And tell the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

Stand by your man
And show the world you love him
Keep giving all the love you can
Stand by your man

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So long, suckers. Till next time